As a mom, you know how important it is to set boundaries with your family.
Setting the boundary is half of the equation, you must enforce it.
Boundaries don’t only apply to other people but to us as well. If we are not following the boundaries that we have for us then others have no incentive to follow them either.
Why aren’t your boundaries working?
If it feels like you are repeating yourself or re-establishing boundary lines, read on.
I am sharing the three mistakes you are making when applying your boundaries and how to fix them.
Three Ways to Set Boundaries That Work
Let’s get to it!
I am sharing the three mistakes you are making wh applying your boundaries and how to fix them.
- You Aren’t Clear – As women, we work so hard to be polite and we aren’t clear about the boundary or consequence that is set. We give half of the story and expect for those we’re talking to, figure it out. When setting a boundary be clear about the boundary set and its consequence. Don’t beat around the bush or sugar coat it. Be clear and direct, with love. You’ll find that when you are clear and the other person is clear, and the boundary doesn’t get broken as often.
- You Aren’t Consistent – When someone crosses a boundary and you let it go you tear down progress. Not staying consistent will strip your integrity, and people will believe you less and less. When someone crosses a set boundary, nip it in the bud immediately, remind them of the boundary. Next, apply the consequence and start over. When you are consistent in applying your boundaries you’ll re-directing people less.
- You Aren’t Calm – Guess what, even if you do steps one and two, boundaries will be crossed. Life happens. Be calm and compassionate with yourself and the other person, and pick up, move on and start over. Some people take more work than others when it comes to boundaries. I have a 12-year-old son with autism, it took us about 2 months of consistent work to help him understand to not eat in the family room. You’ll always encounter those that learn differently and you have to be willing to work with them or you’ll go crazy.
Now, I want you to think about the boundaries you already have that aren’t followed. Write out why this boundary is important to you and how you plan on enforcing it.
Boundaries, to me, are an important part of self-care, this is your line in the sand. Feelings are your foundation and boundaries are your fence. You want to be sure to build a strong fence to keep out the things that will keep you from experiencing life how you want.
Remember, that when you don’t apply your boundaries, you end up devaluing yourself.
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Over to You
Share in the comments below which boundary you have reset.
Go forth and apply those boundaries, show yourself that you are worth the work.
Until Next Time