How many times have you either done something completely against who you are, or been afraid to do something because you were afraid of getting a negative response?
I have stepped outside of who I am at my core because I had the fear of being rejected, I’ve also kept my mouth shut and my wishes locked away because I was afraid the other person would give me a side-eyed no, further crushing my dreams and ego.
How does one step out of this imagined fear and turn the word no into the wonderfully powerful word that it is?
As little girls many of us were taught that being polite was more important than feeling safe. That feeling included, and being the same was more important that embracing our uniqueness.
“But if all you do is please the other at the expenses of expressing what you want-which flows from who you are-then eventually you won’t be happy.” James Althucher
So, how does a gal live her fullest authentic expression?
By saying no to the fear of “No.”
I’m going to share with you some ways that you can become more free and unafraid of asking for what you want out of your life, so that you can truly create the life you deserve and desire.
- Get clear on what you want – I know every blog posting, every Periscope, every post I do seems to start with this one thing. Knowing and getting clear on what you want. Knowing what you want and how you want to feel daily are the foundation for everything that we do in our life. Without knowing the answers to those two seemingly simple questions, we will always be at the mercy of others and their plan for our life.
- Make a “No” list – Create a list of 10 things or ideas that you have for your relationship (or job, friendship, family, PTO), take that list to the parties that you need to share them with and ask away. I find that doing this exercise with your questions on a note cards makes the process a bit easier. So what if you have to ask the questions directly off the cards. Doing this strengthens your voice and your confidence. Even if you get all no’s, you have the confidence of knowing you can advocate for your needs effectively.
- Remember “No” means Next Opportunity – Remember if someone says ‘no’ they are not rejecting you, just what you asked them, it also means that they are not the channel, the Universe had in mind to use. Remember that you are not better or worse off from their no, you’re in the same position, so that actually gives you power to continue moving forward. Thank them for their time and move on.
- Natural Therapies – Learn about your chakras and how they are interplay with one another, Carol Tuttle http://www.chakrahealing.com/ has a great free quiz that will show you which of your energy centers are closed and some tips to open them up. Also, using things like essential oils and meditation to help you get centered and more confident to ask for what you need and want out of your life and those in it. Also, get the book The Aladdin Factor by Mark Victor Hansen and Jack Canfield, it’s an entire book to get you more clear in what you want out of life and more confident in asking for it. *Remember I’m not a doctor, be sure to exercise your judgement and seek medical attention when necessary*
Many are afraid of no because they aren’t clear on what yes looks like.
It’s time for you to create the beautiful life that you were destined to live. Using the above steps will get you closer to that life.
Over to You:
Do you know what you want to create in your life? Do you feel like you’re boxed in and that your voice doesn’t matter? How has the blog posting opened your eyes about changes you need to make in your life? Jet on over to my Facebook tribe for moms Supermom’s Guide to Self Care if you are a mom/female caregiver. Not ready for a group setting yet or not a mom, I still wanna hear your voice! Fly on over to my Facebook page, this week’s blog posting will be pinned to the top of the page. Share your ah-ha’s and questions there, I’m there everyday so I always answer back!
Until Next Time
Peace Love & Recovery